Long Hair And The Married Woman
    by Mrs. Ekaterina Cooper of Morehead, Kentucky, USA.

added on 20/02/2011

It was a rainy night in Minnesota, which isn't too unusual. Depending on the length of any unforeseen droughts.

So as the fire in the fireplace crackled warmly at 5586 Cemetery Lane, the residence of Marilyn Addams and her husband Stonewall, Marilyn looked all through her 1966 Lest We Forget yearbook, and sighed to herself, "It's hard to believe that this offbeat shoulder-length girl was me only three years ago. Bangs falling on one side of my forehead. My tips twisting outwards in curls. Thank goodness I parted my hair in the middle just in time". She referred to her photo on page 153 of the yearbook. Turning to pages 132 to 133, she again sighed to herself, "Well, shoulder-length with tips turned inwards. I never cared much for having them turned outwards, except mother felt it was better for me to fit in with the in-crowd that to stick out from them. My fellow class officers, too. Helen Diane, Peggy Sue, and Tommy Orcutt. He died in Vietnam fighting for the 101ST Airborne. Helen Diane and Peggy Sue I think are both married now. Let's see..." Putting the yearbook over to one side, and picking up the photo album, "Ah! Here we are! Helen's wedding day. And doesn't Roy look like an already henpecked husband then? Now there's Peggy's wedding day, and Paul certainly looks like he's ready to begin the accounting job for Addams Industries, too". Looking back in the yearbook again, she sighed to herself as the thunder roared, "Ah! Page 72 of the yearbook from my senior year of high school. Both Barbara Jean and I were doing that old song "You're Winking At Me". That was during our Sadie Hawkins Day activities.

I wore my hair loose that day down to my bra-straps. Barbara wore loose looking pigtails. Ofcourse, her hair was shoulder-length by then, and still growing long". Looking back to the photo album, she sighed, "Graduation Day 1966 at Holmes High School. Barbara Jean and I both with bangs, and she's at her bra-strap-length point about then while I let the tips of mine tickle my waist. All except for our bangs, ofcourse. Now those whom were freshmen in my senior year, well, Carol Ann's getting married this year as well as Kathleen Fay. Ofcourse, I never dreamed they'd actually grow their hair to such extreme lengths since then, but we all shared in that kind of a dream as teenagers. Let's see now, why Gayle Wilder. She had such a lovely Beehive for a girl from the junior class, but alas her long red hair fell prey to scissors, according to this photo of the cast of our school play entitled, "Love Hits Wilbur" on page 52. However, in the wedding picture in the family photo album, I think she'd since been kind of growing her hair past her shoulders once more, and hasn't cut it off since, Thank Heaven".

Of course, even with the house deed already in their names, Marilyn and Stonewall Addams still had another two or three years left before their masters degrees were earned. Stonewall was in his den just across the foyer from the living room when Marilyn was in this stage of remembrance. Ofcourse, they were off from college for the summer, but although having been married in a just-the-family type of ceremony for now, and planning to renew vows after graduating from U.M.D. (University of Minnesota at Duluth) when the time came around, ofcourse. Their doorbell rang, and Marilyn went to answer it. Marilyn said, "Well, Joann, I was just wondering when you'd arrive. Don't worry about Little Gleek. he's upstairs asleep". So as Joann and Marilyn made their way upstairs the clock in the hall chimed 10:00 P.M. When they came to the bedroom that was 12' FT. 4"Inches by 9'FT. 10"Inches, Joann sighed, "Ah! What an adorable little boy. Come on now, son. Mommy's here, and we have to go home now. I'M certain Aunt Marilyn won't mind looking after you another time?" Marilyn replied, "It was a pleasure. Besides, it's just a favor for relatives". After Joann left with her son Gleek Addams, Jr. in her arms, Marilyn finally went upstairs, and into the master bedroom where she sat at her vanity table, and brushed her already 5'FT. (60"Inch) raven hair, not counting her bangs, you know. Afterwards, she got into bed beside Stonewall already snoring away, and said, "Alas, I hope I too will have sons. Because sons tend to appreciate it when their mothers have long hair, but daughters are hard to tell, and yet I hope to have sons, and when they marry, well, I hope their wives never cut off their long hair whatsoever!" As the rain kept on pouring, and the storm raged throughout the night, Marilyn dreamed that she did have such sons. Her dream carried her to the delivery room where her long hair was up in a bun, which started as a ponytail before being folded multiple times. Dr. Pierce stood there at the foot of the table for the delivery room, and urged Marilyn to keep on pushing.

Then Dr. Pierce cried out, "It's a boy!" Marilyn sighed, "At least one son so far". Then she pushed some more until a second son came out. Then the third son came out, and all of them, by a miracle, were vaginal deliveries. Triplets of all things. Yet, they weren't identical, but rather fraternal, although of the same gender. She named her sons G.P. (George Pickett) Addams, R.E.L. (Robert E. Lee) Addams, and finally J.S. (Jeb Stuart) Addams. Five years passed, and as the alarm clock woke up Marilyn, she raced to the other bedrooms in the old Colonial house calling out, "Boys wake up! Your bus will be here soon!"

So Marilyn got the bacon to frying in the skillet as the radio in the kitchen broadcasted the early morning news, "It seems like just another in Grand Rapids, Minnesota:USA this fine Friday morning. Although, we have a slight chance of showers later on this afternoon of 1980, we are in high hopes that anyone with party plans prepares to go indoors just like Slunk Addams and his new bride Deborah. Ofcourse, their wedding isn't until tomorrow afternoon, but at least their planning to hold their reception at the home Slunk's cousin Gomez Addams of Cemetery Lane. Well, best wishes to the happy couple in spite of high chances of the rain turning to snow if that Arctic wind collides with that Pacific factor..." So with the boys off to Kindergarten, and Stonewall working at Allied Rail Rebuilders, this left Marilyn home by herself just like most days. Although not employed regularly by the different public schools throughout Itasca County, Marilyn was on the substitute teaching lists, just in case. Soon a few more years passed by, and Marilyn's sons were now in high school attending James Dean High in Grand Rapids, and raising what rebellions they could occassionally. At least, this part of Marilyn's dream had the boys dating girls with long hair for her sake. George was first to introduce his girlfriend to his folks by saying, "Mom, Dad. This is Linka. She's from Norway". Stonewall yawned, "Nice to meet you young miss". Marilyn replied, "Why, I had no idea you had such long hair. Why George never told us yet is beyond me. Maybe he wanted to surprise us". Linka spoke in the best of her abilities of English, but with the thick Norwegian accent, "I've been growing it like this for years now. Afterall, I'M descended from various Viking types, yes?" Marilyn giggled, "Without your modern day wardrobe, you'd look just like a Viking maiden". Linka smiled. Jeb was next introducing Helga, an exchange student from Finland. Unlike Linka, Helga had a lot of long bright, red hair down to her thighs. When introduced to Jeb's parents, Stonewall sighed, "First a brunette from Norway, and now a redhead from Finland". Marilyn replied, "Helga, don't mind my husband. I think that your best feature of all is your long red hair".

Helga smiled, "I thank Mrs. Addams. And I do hereby promise you that when I come of age, and I marry Jeb, I'll never cut off my hair whatsoever, ya?" Marilyn giggled, "I know, and I also swore that I'd never cut my hair off, and I still kept that promise to myself so far". Finally, R.E.L. whom preferred being called Bobby Lee introduced Kristina. She came from Sweden. Also, her long blonde hair was tied back in an almost knee-length French Braid. Bob said, "Mom, Dad. Meet Kristina. She's going to be my steady". Stonewall gasped, "I'd better have Dr. pierce prescribe me some nitroglycerin pills!" Marilyn added, "You're quite healthy right now, dear. Besides, I think Kristina is nice, for a blonde!" Kristina added, "Ya! I also think you nice, too! Even with that long hair of yours". Thus, the college years passed, and Marilyn watched as finally her sons stood at the altar awaiting their brides. Jeb married Helga. George married Linka. Bobby Lee married Kristina. Marilyn sighed to herself at the reception, held in the home of Gomez & Morticia Addams, "My sons are no longer boys, but rather they're men now!" Hoping that grandchildren would be next on her sons' agenda, Marilyn was getting prepared when suddenly, she noticed that Kristina's hair had been completely hacked off, and Kristina was in tears of sadness. Marilyn asked, "What happened to you, dear?" Kristina weeped, "My mother made me get it cut off against my will". This made Marilyn so mad that it was on the same level as violating one's diplomatic immunity to her. When she confronted Kristina's mother, and asked why, the reply was, "I don't think that married women of any age, young or old alike, should wear such long hair!!!" Thus, Marilyn punched her in-law in the face, and a virtual war began. With her back to the floor, Kristina's mother felt her dresser drawer for the scissors, but couldn't find them whatsoever. Then to even the odds, Helga and Linka joined in. Just then, Marilyn awoke from her dream saying, "Wow! I can hardly believe that! But just the same, I'd still rather have sons anytime instead of daughters". Looking at the alarm clock on the nightstand, Marilyn cried, "Oh! I almost forgot about my cooking lesson with Morticia and Grandmama Addams today! They're giving me their recipe for Henbane Sauce. That's one of Stonewall's favorite recipes, too".

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